I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He better not be in your backpack
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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