you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's Friday. Sex?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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