I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Panties = found
Randomize
