I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
