Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
