Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
