you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
