you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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