1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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