we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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