NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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