It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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