Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
