she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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