Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Randomize
