why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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