Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize