Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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