Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
