Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
