come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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