i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
