I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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