i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
this will be a night to untag.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
