I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize