So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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