In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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