ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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