Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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