i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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