it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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