recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
