I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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