i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize