I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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