i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
