You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
