tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
