i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
