She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
