it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
