cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
