guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I just put wine in my tea
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
