So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
