No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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