You made me cry and you don't even care
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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