Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
