Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
My balls are so social today.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
