You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
