The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
