i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
