I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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