shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just pee around me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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