So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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