Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
