He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize