Will you blow on my dice?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
