after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize