sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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