i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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