Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize