I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
