Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
