So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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